How to Finally Silence Your Inner Critic

Jul 12, 2019

It is to your advantage to find a reliable friend in you. To be able to look in the mirror and say words of affirmation. To not always need someone's hand to hold and say the things you couldn't say to yourself. When you find that person is not within you, life could be so limited. You can be a prisoner of your own thoughts.

1. Whose approval do you need?

It could be the expectations of others and the desire to please them. But the truth is, our expectations of ourselves can be higher. And it is more difficult to please ourselves. Then we cannot be good enough no matter whose approval we get.

2. Write down what your inner critic says

Keep a journal and write down everything your inner critic says. The more it says the same things (which it will), the more you will come to realize what it is doing to you.

3. Assess the danger

Ask yourself, am I in real physical danger or will I be? Are these doubts and fears keeping me cautious or is it limiting me to reach my full potential?

4. Set a safety net

Risk is a lot harder to take when you don't have confidence. So take the necessary measures to keep yourself safe. If you are worried about a financial decision, consider if you have enough savings to fall back on.

5. Imagine the worst-case scenario

What is the worst thing that could happen? Do you have the power to prevent it? If you fail, who will go down with you? Now how often does this scenario happen in reality? Think: You can face the worst thing and rise from it.

6. Plan and plan again

Benjamin Franklin said, "fail to plan and you plan to fail." The least you would worry about is your plan failing but you also have a back-up plan for that.

7. Stop making assumptions

William Congreve said, "Fear comes from uncertainty." But for someone who is so uncertain, we seem to be so certain that our assumptions are right. We assume the worst things will fall upon us.

8. Challenge your inner critic

Remember, even scientists can only theorize. They test their hypotheses over and over. Consider what your inner critic says as hypotheses that need testing, not conclusions. And like any hypotheses, what your inner critic comes up with could be wrong.

9. Seek knowledge

The fear of the unknown — the less we know about something, the harder it is to decide for it. But as we grow in understanding, it challenges the inner critic's hypotheses. At the same time, we learn to better plan for circumstances.

10. Listen to a different voice

Our inner critic can reflect voices from our past. The words your inner critic says — where did you hear those? Was it from your childhood, an abusive partner, or an influential person who made you feel inferior? You've heard it said by someone. It doesn't just get into your head.

Now reflect on the voice of a mentor or that of a friend. Shift from first-person to the third person. Write yourself a letter. Exercise kindness, trust, forgiveness, and self-compassion in that letter. Compare it side by side to the words your inner critic says. You will find you've grown tired of listening to those words. This letter of kindness and the kind voice are what you want to tune into from now on.

Final Thoughts

When you reflect on how you've been pulled back, restrained, and belittled by your thoughts, you can stand up to it. No longer does it have the power to poison your subconscious mind. You are aware of it and you've gotten stronger. You decreased its power to the point that it is now powerless. Now enjoy your freedom because you were not made for bondage.